Game, Interrupted.

By Randy

@coffeeswiller

"Why am I not playing a game?!?"

This one is for the gamer parents out there. Sharing the love of gaming with your kids reeks of awesome. It brings me great joy to game with the kiddos. But sometimes, I just want to play games with my adult gamer friends. I imagine if you are a parent gamer, you probably feel the same, too. Over the years, I have made some observations and implemented some strategies that help me to be able to game with the adults, too. Here are some of those tips, tricks and cautionary tales that might just help you play a game without massive interruptions. 

The Seven P's

Have you heard of the Seven P's? Here they are: Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance. That means if you're going to get this right, you're going to need to plan it a little. This gets easier each time, so don't stress that you have to put some thought in ahead of time. Gaming with the kids around and minimizing interruptions of gametime requires a plan. 

Joint Playdate

"Let's get crafty!"

Start by telling yourself: you're organizing a joint playdate. No, you don't have to drink juiceboxes. Get over the term, because that's what you're doing. This is more literal when the other adults you are gaming with have kids that are coming over, but even if no other kids are involved, you need to have activities in mind for your kids as if this is an organized playdate. Which it is.So think about successful playdates that you have attended with your kid. Was there some sort of structure? What activities were involved? How much did the kids need direct supervision? You need to get this part right. As much as you want to engage in your activity, the kids need to feel like they're engaged in theirs. They should feel that they had a choice in what that activity is going to be to be invested. You probably already know what your kids like, and how to "sell" them an activity. You need to sell this one hard and ahead of time. If it is a DVD, it should be a new one that they are excited about. If it's a craft project, make it something new (preferably one that's not too messy and doesn't involve use of sharp implements helps, too!).  If it's just playing in the yard, suggest a game or provide some new challenge. Even a sheet of butcher paper taped on a table and a bucket of crayons can be fun.

Don't forget the food!

So... kids get hungry. True story. Adults do, too. And if you're going to be sitting down for long enough to play a boardgame, the likelihood of this happening is... yeah, it's going to happen. My advice is to have this scheduled and the food prepared ahead of time, something that can easily be eaten at the game table, that the kids don't object to, and that doesn't require a massive cleanup. Spaghetti? Bad choice. Pizza? Better. Add snacky finger food to the mix and you are golden. This all works especially well when a lunch/dinner time is scheduled and everyone knows there'll be crackers, apple slices and string cheese or something until then.

Be courteous!

Unsolicited deckbuilding advice...

Perhaps the most important part of this whole thing is courtesy. Be courteous to your guests (or hosts), be courteous to your kids, be courteous to their kids (if relevant), and be courteous in turn-taking. If you get this right, this smooths over just about anything that is going to come up. If you're playing a complex boardgame, don't assume that every other player's turn is an excuse to leave the table. If you have kids around, yes, you'll need to do this every now and then. But if your friends have to spend five minutes every time it's your turn telling you what happened, you may need to reconsider how you're going about things. And don't be snappy with your kiddo if they come to the table needing something! Stopping to take a minute and explain what the cards do may satisfy their curiosity so they will move on. Also, don't be afraid to ask players for a break to attend kids' needs. Everyone will be happier.



Adventures Nearby Babysitting

Do you know who kids think are absolutely amazing? Bigger kids! You know that 13 year old girl down the street who wants to babysit your kids for some extra cash, but is just too young to be responsible for the kids by herself? Why not hire her to watch your kids at your house while you game? We have done this before and it works out really well. And if other people are bringing their kids over, you can possibly arrange beforehand for the other parents to chip in. This is really an "everybody wins!" situation, but it does require a little cash.

Rotating Parental Duties

My wife Angie and I are both gamers, and when gaming is happening, we both want to be at the table. Sometimes, though, we know it's just not feasible for that to happen. Every now and then, one of us will take care of the kids while the other games. If you step this up a little, and you're planning a regularly occurring game day, one excellent way to have a satisfying game is to have one parent of however many participants to rotate being the one who hangs out with the kids. If there are three couples with kids, for example, being willing to sit out one in six games (or whole game days) gets you five others to relax and not worry too much about the parenting. That assumes everyone in the equation is a gamer; if there's a non-gamer spouse among the mix, making an arrangement with him or her ahead of time ("I'll watch the kids while you go out one night if you watch them while I game...") can really be a great setup. 

Know When To Hold 'em

"...and this is where Daddy crushes those other chumps."

Have little kids? Sometimes, they're going to need to be held. And it's okay to do that at the game table; your gamer buddies know you're a parent. So long as the kid is happy to be there, is quiet and not interfering with the game. There have been plenty of times that I've had a sleepy or curious little person in my arms at the table. But please keep in mind that this is not the same as giving your child your full attention. There will be times when your child needs your attention, and these are times when you need to excuse yourself.

Know When To Fold 'em

Ideally, you step away before this happens...

Then there will be times when you, as a parent, just need to know when to throw in the towel. Nobody likes walking away from a game, but a child's needs must come first. Identifying those times when a child needs your full attention are important. If your parenting  "spider-sense" tells you that your child is about to have a meltdown, you're probably right. I know from experience that ignoring those signs and trying to play through makes everyone miserable. So do everyone a favor and when that happens, bow out early. At the end of the day, the meeples won't mind and the people should understand.

Winding Down

After all is said and done, I recommend spending a little extra special time with the children. If you make this a habit, they will be more likely to behave during your gaming when they extra attention will follow. Snuggles, stories... whatever you do to show them you appreciate them.

I hope this helps! Adequate planning can get you back to the table and enjoying playing games once again. I don't think I even need to say that this isn't an exhaustive list. So... how do you make your game days fun for everyone? What are your best tips? I'll tell you what... leave a tip for making a game day great, and I'll tip you one GeekGold on BoardGameGeek. Be sure to leave your BGG username!