Game, Interrupted.

By Randy

@coffeeswiller

"Why am I not playing a game?!?"

This one is for the gamer parents out there. Sharing the love of gaming with your kids reeks of awesome. It brings me great joy to game with the kiddos. But sometimes, I just want to play games with my adult gamer friends. I imagine if you are a parent gamer, you probably feel the same, too. Over the years, I have made some observations and implemented some strategies that help me to be able to game with the adults, too. Here are some of those tips, tricks and cautionary tales that might just help you play a game without massive interruptions. 

The Seven P's

Have you heard of the Seven P's? Here they are: Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance. That means if you're going to get this right, you're going to need to plan it a little. This gets easier each time, so don't stress that you have to put some thought in ahead of time. Gaming with the kids around and minimizing interruptions of gametime requires a plan. 

Joint Playdate

"Let's get crafty!"

Start by telling yourself: you're organizing a joint playdate. No, you don't have to drink juiceboxes. Get over the term, because that's what you're doing. This is more literal when the other adults you are gaming with have kids that are coming over, but even if no other kids are involved, you need to have activities in mind for your kids as if this is an organized playdate. Which it is.So think about successful playdates that you have attended with your kid. Was there some sort of structure? What activities were involved? How much did the kids need direct supervision? You need to get this part right. As much as you want to engage in your activity, the kids need to feel like they're engaged in theirs. They should feel that they had a choice in what that activity is going to be to be invested. You probably already know what your kids like, and how to "sell" them an activity. You need to sell this one hard and ahead of time. If it is a DVD, it should be a new one that they are excited about. If it's a craft project, make it something new (preferably one that's not too messy and doesn't involve use of sharp implements helps, too!).  If it's just playing in the yard, suggest a game or provide some new challenge. Even a sheet of butcher paper taped on a table and a bucket of crayons can be fun.

Don't forget the food!

So... kids get hungry. True story. Adults do, too. And if you're going to be sitting down for long enough to play a boardgame, the likelihood of this happening is... yeah, it's going to happen. My advice is to have this scheduled and the food prepared ahead of time, something that can easily be eaten at the game table, that the kids don't object to, and that doesn't require a massive cleanup. Spaghetti? Bad choice. Pizza? Better. Add snacky finger food to the mix and you are golden. This all works especially well when a lunch/dinner time is scheduled and everyone knows there'll be crackers, apple slices and string cheese or something until then.

Be courteous!

Unsolicited deckbuilding advice...

Perhaps the most important part of this whole thing is courtesy. Be courteous to your guests (or hosts), be courteous to your kids, be courteous to their kids (if relevant), and be courteous in turn-taking. If you get this right, this smooths over just about anything that is going to come up. If you're playing a complex boardgame, don't assume that every other player's turn is an excuse to leave the table. If you have kids around, yes, you'll need to do this every now and then. But if your friends have to spend five minutes every time it's your turn telling you what happened, you may need to reconsider how you're going about things. And don't be snappy with your kiddo if they come to the table needing something! Stopping to take a minute and explain what the cards do may satisfy their curiosity so they will move on. Also, don't be afraid to ask players for a break to attend kids' needs. Everyone will be happier.



Adventures Nearby Babysitting

Do you know who kids think are absolutely amazing? Bigger kids! You know that 13 year old girl down the street who wants to babysit your kids for some extra cash, but is just too young to be responsible for the kids by herself? Why not hire her to watch your kids at your house while you game? We have done this before and it works out really well. And if other people are bringing their kids over, you can possibly arrange beforehand for the other parents to chip in. This is really an "everybody wins!" situation, but it does require a little cash.

Rotating Parental Duties

My wife Angie and I are both gamers, and when gaming is happening, we both want to be at the table. Sometimes, though, we know it's just not feasible for that to happen. Every now and then, one of us will take care of the kids while the other games. If you step this up a little, and you're planning a regularly occurring game day, one excellent way to have a satisfying game is to have one parent of however many participants to rotate being the one who hangs out with the kids. If there are three couples with kids, for example, being willing to sit out one in six games (or whole game days) gets you five others to relax and not worry too much about the parenting. That assumes everyone in the equation is a gamer; if there's a non-gamer spouse among the mix, making an arrangement with him or her ahead of time ("I'll watch the kids while you go out one night if you watch them while I game...") can really be a great setup. 

Know When To Hold 'em

"...and this is where Daddy crushes those other chumps."

Have little kids? Sometimes, they're going to need to be held. And it's okay to do that at the game table; your gamer buddies know you're a parent. So long as the kid is happy to be there, is quiet and not interfering with the game. There have been plenty of times that I've had a sleepy or curious little person in my arms at the table. But please keep in mind that this is not the same as giving your child your full attention. There will be times when your child needs your attention, and these are times when you need to excuse yourself.

Know When To Fold 'em

Ideally, you step away before this happens...

Then there will be times when you, as a parent, just need to know when to throw in the towel. Nobody likes walking away from a game, but a child's needs must come first. Identifying those times when a child needs your full attention are important. If your parenting  "spider-sense" tells you that your child is about to have a meltdown, you're probably right. I know from experience that ignoring those signs and trying to play through makes everyone miserable. So do everyone a favor and when that happens, bow out early. At the end of the day, the meeples won't mind and the people should understand.

Winding Down

After all is said and done, I recommend spending a little extra special time with the children. If you make this a habit, they will be more likely to behave during your gaming when they extra attention will follow. Snuggles, stories... whatever you do to show them you appreciate them.

I hope this helps! Adequate planning can get you back to the table and enjoying playing games once again. I don't think I even need to say that this isn't an exhaustive list. So... how do you make your game days fun for everyone? What are your best tips? I'll tell you what... leave a tip for making a game day great, and I'll tip you one GeekGold on BoardGameGeek. Be sure to leave your BGG username!

5 Signs Your Kids Might Be Growing Up Gamers!

by Angie

Here's a few ideas we had for how you might be able to tell if your kids are getting adequate geekery in their lives and are properly developing as little gamers....

1. Your kid has a sketchbook is full of game design ideas.. complete with components breakdown!

Katie's "list" of components for prototyping her new game "Sea"

 2. Your daugther wanders away at the grocery store to find a comfy place to read a game catalog and make sure you aren't missing any upcoming releases

Apparently the beer aisle is both "cool" and relaxing

3. Your little one gives tactical advice to your wargame opponent about your weaknesses and comes up with a winning move!

Katie and Bodhi kickin' my booty at Memoir 44

4. Your kids get up before you to sneak into the gameroom and play games together without you and your silly "rules"

Jack telling Katie "this how you do it!"

5. Your daughter's dream-come-true craft projects are to paint plaster wizards and Warmachine minis with Dad

Can we paint minis today Dad, please? Please?

At ages 2 and 5 our kids have fully embraced our gaming lifestyle. They listen to gaming podcasts with me, never ever turn down an invitation to play a game, and Katie even asked if we could go on a family trip to a gaming convention this summer. What evidence do you have that your gamer training is paying off with the little ones? Are they growing up gamers too? We'd love to hear from you!

The Sweet Spot

As a parent of young children, it is often tough to find time to game. Or energy. Gone are the carefree days of playing game after game after game. There's always something coming up... late bedtimes, going to the store for medicine, washing diapers (for cloth-diapering hippies like us!), cooking, cleaning random messes the kids leave... yeah, free time is at a premium. Every minute counts. So I have to shoot for getting the most out of my time when gaming. So what does that mean? How do I get the most out of my time gaming? Honestly, I'm still working it out. I have 5 years of practice, though, and I'll share what I've figured out. Here are some guidelines I use for finding the "sweet spot" in gaming.

1. Avoid games with complex or fiddly rules.

Some games are just elegant. Play progresses in an orderly fashion, there's an FAQ in the rulebook covering anything you need, and people just "get it" after a quick explanation. Play these games. And avoid games (especially teaching games!) that require a trip to boardgamegeek.com to arbitrate a rules question, use arcane iconography or just make things complex. A game that I really like that fits into this category is Race for the Galaxy. I love the game. I really do. The iconography makes it hard to teach, though, so it's not going to hit the table when new players are around. Especially with expansions. Complexity doesn't need to be there for depth, necessarily. So when a game delivers a comparable experience without the fiddliness, go for that one.

2. If the kids are around, figure in additional time... or get a babysitter.

I don't know how many games I've lost due to having to parent. In the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. A game is a game. But gaming is a hobby, and meant to be relaxing. Socializing. Interacting with friends, or maybe just unwinding with the wife. And it really gets frustrating when I feel that I can't remember what I'm doing from one minute to the next due to constant interruptions. I'm not the best multitasker (just ask my wife!), and the kids usually get the priority in any situation where they're involved. A good thing to do is to make sure you "load 'em up" with attention beforehand. If they're going to be supervised less during play, set their expectations and try to meet all their needs (immediate and anticipated) before you sit down. Gaming with other parents helps. Often, kids will play together. Another option is a babysitter. Even having a babysitter over at the same time is a great thing, and well worth the investment.

3. Maximize the "Fun vs. Time Spent" ratio.

Some games are just long. I'm not adverse to playing a long game; I enjoy the opportunity every now and then. But some games... are just long. As an example, I don't really feel that I get more out of Axis & Allies than I do out of Memoir '44. I'll definitely be playing it for five more hours, but I don't necessarily think that Axis is going to deliver six times the fun just because it takes six times the time to play. That means that it has a poor fun:time spent ratio. Look for games that deliver the essential experience. Some games are going to tale longer to do that, so make sure that when you're selecting a game to pull off the shelf, that there isn't a game that delivers the same experience in a shorter time.

4. Read reviews of games before you get them.

This has become so important for my wife and me when buying games. In the past, we would drop loads and loads of money on games we had never heard of. Sometimes this would have positive results. For instance, we purchased Attika after a recommendation from a game store employee at Rainy Day Games. Hadn't heard of it, or looked it up. Just bought it. And loved it. But sometimes... you end up with a game that doesn't fit your style, isn't what you expected or is just plain bad. I'm not going to point fingers at any games in particular, primarily because I try to stay positive. But there are definitely games out there with few redeeming qualities. Which is why game reviews are so important.Just as the reviews themselves are important, so are the reviewers. It's easy to look at a review uncritically and walk away thinking of the reviewer's opinion as the final word. My advice is to find a couple reviewers' blogs or podcasts and get familiar. My wife, for example, loves The Dice Tower. She doesn't necessarily agree with all of Tom Vasel's opinions on games, but she knows where she stands in relation to him on things and can use that as a yardstick and gauge whether or not she thinks she might like something based on that. We've made some very informed decisions on games based on his reviews, and on the reviews of others. FYI, I know a blog that reviews games (hint, hint!)... ;)

So what is "the sweet spot"? The sweet spot is primarily about being cognizant of factors like time and parenting when purchasing games, choosing which games to play and playing games. How this is defined for each individual is definitely going to vary. Just think of this as a game itself! It's a very complex resource management game, and the resources are time, money and attention. Stay aware of this, and you'll find your sweet spot!